BACKDATED TO DECEMBER 25TH

[thedesertthorn]

[Everyone got some chocolates. Of those, he selected about 50% of them to be laxatives. They are random in each box of chocolates. Anyone who is a good friend of Ganondorf does not get any laxatives. Everyone else probably had problems.

All the males got condoms, colored and tasting like mint and candy canes. SAFETY FIRST. Also kits like this.

Nabooru, you have a pretty gem necklace from 'a man of the sand' ooooh, how mysterious.

For the pretty women, Ganondorf also got tiny necklaces (to affirm his masculinity) Also condoms and self discovering kits for anyone over the age of 18.

Melissa, Ganondorf got you a pony. Like, literally. A real. Pony. You're going to get riding lessons.]

Comments

[stairblock.livejournal.com]

[Melissa completely flipped her shit when she got her pony. So much screaming and yelling in disbelief and running around and petting it. And then Grace was properly introduced and then she had to decide on a name. Kyle? Blackie? Ganondorf? Epona? Louie? Louie was perfect. AND SO IT WAS. LOUIE THE PONY, GRACE THE CAT AND MELISSA THE BRAT LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.]

[majorcrotchgrab.livejournal.com]

[Oh. The condoms are lovely...! Even though he'll probably never use them. It's the thought that counts. Yevgeny will like the red speedos though.]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[Oh it's not frog pajamas and mushrooms, okay. Good.

Ivan, put them on.]

[majorcrotchgrab.livejournal.com]

[♥]

[colonelcrotchgrab]

[boxingmidget.livejournal.com]

dated to around december 28th

[goaheadnblunder.livejournal.com]

[Oh cool! Condoms!]

[Except it would probably be embarrassing to have them in sight in front of Raikov, and Blacky would never do him again. Did they even use protection in the first place?]

[But he's actually tempted to try one on for the hell of it. Maybe one day. They are put away]


[Chocolates are also put away. What if any are liquor-flavored and glass starts bursting out of them or something?]

[That leaves... the santa speedo set. It's actually very interesting but... he can't imagine himself in it. But maybe he should try it on sometime whenever Blacky's not hiding out in his room with her non-Kamek Turtle thing.]

[umbreon-blacky.livejournal.com]

[That. Is a cute little necklace. She effin loves jewelry so she will be wearing it a lot. And maybe putting the self-discovery kits to use when she is feeling particularly lonesome.]

1/2

[badasscopters.livejournal.com]

[Well, these condoms are going to be put to good use, yes.

Also, speedo kits are... probably going to be trashed. Or maybe he'll give them to some random poor soul back home. Hawk? Yes, that would be a good idea. He can't get throttled by him when he's all the way here.

OOOH, chocolates! Goose is going to eat a bunch of them.]

Re: 1/2

[badasscopters.livejournal.com]

[... AND THEN THE TOILET IS NOW GOING TO BECOME HIS NEW BEST FRIEND]

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

['Tis the season.]

[shiminon]

[Shinon burned everything. He threw the chocolates on the table of beer. Let's hope they don't have laxatives in them, or else he'll be drunk and stuck in the bathroom. What a pathetic scene that would be.]